Your husband is actually supposed to find you. Proverbs 31 tells us about the type of wife we are to become. Before we dive into the “how to’s,” it says in verse 10, “Who can find a wife with a strong character?” If you’re working on becoming a Proverbs 31 woman, then your husband will find you. You will attract what you are. If you’re working on yourself and cultivating your character, then you will attract a man of great character. It is so easy to get caught up in worrying about who to be with. Rest in knowing that at the right time, your husband will find you. God has a beautiful love story prepared for you if you choose to let Him write it. Once you are at the marriageable age, how do you know if the guy is right for you? The book of Ruth shows us 5 amazing keys to knowing if the person you want to date is right for you. We learn from a great man of integrity named Boaz.
Key 1: Boaz was a man of outstanding character.
This comes from Ruth 2:1: “Naomi had a relative. He was from Elimelech’s side of the family. He was a man of outstanding character named Boaz.” Is the guy you are interested in, or with, a man with outstanding character. Do the people that talk about and know him say he is a man of quality, integrity, and honor? What is he known for?
Key 2: Ruth’s mother-in-law approved.
This comes from Chapter 2:2 when Naomi told Ruth to go to Boaz’s fields. Naomi encouraged Ruth to be around Boaz. Naomi was very fond of Boaz. If your parents, family, and close friends don’t like him, then you should listen to them because they are probably right. When my parents met my husband for the first time, they felt right about him and trusted him. If you are sneaking around your parents to talk to or be with this guy, then stop and think about why your parents don’t like him. They are a lot smarter than you think. In most cases your parents want the best for you. They can sometimes see things that you cannot see.
Key 3: God came 1st in Boaz’s life.
This comes from Ruth 2:4, “Just then, Boaz was coming from Bethlehem, and he said to his reapers, ‘May the LORD be with all of you!’ They answered him, ‘May the LORD bless you!’” Boaz spoke blessings over his workers. What does the person you like talk about? Is he speaking blessings or curses over people? Is he in love with the Lord? Does he put God before anything else in his life? I don’t mean just going to church; does he walk with Jesus? Does he make you want to know Jesus more?
The man you marry should lead you spiritually. This is how God set up the family. You are not supposed to be the spiritual leader. If you feel like you are always trying to pull him along then the relationship is out of balance. When you are in a relationship with a guy, you are lining your life up with him. You begin to affect each other positively or negatively. The Bible is clear on making sure you line yourself up with believers.
“Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
My marriage is very healthy because of Jesus. No matter what we face in life, Jesus is our rock and foundation. My husband is always encouraging me with the Word of God. He is praying for me and challenging me spiritually to be closer to God. That is the kind of relationship you want: a man that seeks God first!
Key 4: Boaz was a protector and caretaker.
This comes from Ruth 2:8-9: “Boaz said to Ruth, ‘Listen, my daughter. Don’t go in any other field to gather grain, and don’t even leave this one. Stay here with my young women. Watch where my men are reaping, and follow the young women in that field. I have ordered my young men not to touch you. When you’re thirsty, go to the jars and drink some of the water that the young men have drawn.’”
Boaz set up protection for Ruth. The person you are interested in should protect you. He should not be taking you to shady places or around shady people. He should respect your body by setting up boundaries. Boaz also fed Ruth. Your boyfriend should pay when he takes you out to eat. You should be treated with the utmost care and respect. You are a woman of God!
Key 5: Boaz was respected by other respectable people.
This comes from Ruth chapter 4. Boaz is meeting with the people of the city to make Ruth his wife. The people honored him and spoke blessings over him (see Ruth 4:11). Do respectable godly people think highly of the person you like? Is he known by others as a man of integrity? Do others speak good of him? I want you girls to honestly think about what the word of God says here.
“How can a young person keep his life pure? [He can do it] by holding on to your word.” Psalm 119:9
If you want to truly live a pure life then look to the word of God for help. I know God has your dream man out there for you; you just have to be patient, and don’t settle for anything less than the best! You deserve a man of God that will respect you!
Alyssa Shull is the founder of The Pink Lid. She graduated in 2008 from Oral Roberts University with a degree in multimedia productions. Alyssa and her husband Matt have been in full-time ministry for over 11 years. They produced and hosted Skunks TV (2009-2013), a youth television show, that aired world-wide on JCTV. Alyssa has had the privilege to preach the gospel in nine countries across the world and speak to girls here in America at different churches and events. Alyssa and Matt have been married for 12 years and are the parents of Audrianna and Zealand.